My parents have come and gone and as you may have guessed, China will never be the same. It was strange to see them in a place where I feel somewhat established, but that I don't associate at all with them. It was also weird because their visit signaled the halfway mark of my year in China. It seems improbable that the time has gone by so fast. (Hey, did you notice how quickly the post about my parents turned into musings about my own life? Such is a peril of blogging. You start believing your thoughts on all things mundane actually matter and are also interesting to other people. Don't worry, my parents have always been quick to correct such notions.)
My parents came in on a Sunday evening after spending several days in Beijing with their tour group. I met them at their hotel after I got off work and we had dinner at a restaurant nearby. The dinner was perfectly nice although not particularly noteworthy, but the dishes I ordered held up well under scrutiny while the duck necks Dad ordered, not so much. It was interesting to see my parents in China reacting to things that were still relatively new to them. For example, when we were crossing the street a car turning left was beeping at us. I thought nothing of it except to look and make sure we weren't going to get run over, but Mom was annoyed because we had the right of way. So I explained that truly in most cases beeping isn't rude, it's just telling someone you're coming, on the right, etc. Mom and Dad were both fairly disturbed by the apparent lack of traffic laws but by the end of their days in Shanghai they were remarking on the "flow" that's present on a Chinese street, so I like to think they jumped that cultural hurdle. The other difference in cultures my parents directly experienced that night was when I asked for the bill at dinner. (If you live near my parents you've likely already heard this story from my Father in what my Mother tells me is becoming an increasingly dramatic performance.) In China, you don't tip. So waiters don't stop by the table to check on you. If you need something, you yell for the waiter. It was the yelling part my parents were apparently unprepared for. Dad told me to get the bill, so I turned, yelled for the waiter and asked for the bill. I missed my parents jumping in their seats at what they felt was inappropriate restaurant behavior, but they themselves commented that no one else batted an eye. If you want this story to fly off the page, call my Dad. He'll be happy to perform it for you.
We spent the three full days they were here checking out various sites in Shanghai. They skipped the tour stuff and let me be their guide. The first morning I took them to my apartment for a tour, and so they could do laundry. I suggested we take a taxi so we didn't have to carry their laundry bags on the metro. Dad was hesitant. "How much is this going to cost?" But by the end of the 20 minute ride when he realized the cab cost about $3, his tune changed. On another day when I suggested we walk somewhere, he told me "Never be afraid to take a taxi." Of course, he could rely on me to give passable directions in Chinese. Bringing my parents around Shanghai required me to use more Chinese than I've used in several months of bumming off my Chinese friends. Dad kept justifying our excessive use of taxis by saying it made the most sense for the cost with three people. He wasn't wrong, and I don't have an issue taking a taxi with 3 people and when my parents are paying. But when my Mother and I are hailing a cab in the rain and my Father is standing under a covering to wait, we have an issue. "EXCUSE ME SIR, SOMETHING IS WRONG HERE."
Some places we went (in taxis):
-The Bund
-Jade Buddha Temple - supposedly a must see but I could do without. Also my Chinese friends all said "What temple?" when I mentioned it, and doesn't that say it all?
-Shanghai museum & People's Park
-Tianzifang, a cute area of backstreets with little shops and eateries
-Yu gardens
-Super Brand Mall for lunch with a few of my Chinese friends and co-workers
-Oriental Pearl Tower & Shanghai History museum
-Propaganda poster art center
-Former residence of Mao Zedong
It was a lovely trip and I'm so glad my parents were able to come and see where I live. At this point they have seen more of China than me, something that will hopefully be remedied before I return home. (Look, I'm making it about me again.) We didn't have that long together but I think we made the most of it and adjusted well considering we went from not seeing each other for 6 months to spending time together on a 24 hour basis. Now that they are gone, I miss them more than I have at any time in the last six months. Essentially, they've ruined my zen. But that's nothing new for me or them.
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SARAH ELLENTPA - SHA - BNA Archives
December 2016
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